Heavyhearted.

What is the meaning of grace, when it speaks to my darkest place?
Why do I always feel like I'm Your disgrace?
I'm sick of saving face.

When I feel heavy hearted, I know You're taking me back.
When You take me as I am, it's like the sunlight gracing the land.
When I feel heavy hearted.. please come and take my hand. I'm heavy hearted again.

Where is the message of hope when I'm sick & I'm all alone?
Why do I listen to doubt?
Why do I shut you out?
..You're what I need the most.

Though I feel so heavy hearted, I know You're taking me back
It's so crazy.. how You sustain me.
When I am down in the dirt, You come and claim me.
Father, Your burden is light.
I need Your love tonight.
I'm reaching out to You.

- the glorious unseen. heavyhearted.


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i posted this because i was about to do some journaling.. and I can't get this song off my heart today. the line 'when you take me as i am it's like the sunlight gracing the land'.... is echoing insanely. i know He's whispering it to me... "I take you back just as you are."
words i don't deserve but need so desperately.
i don't know why i listen to doubt, or why I shut him out.. when He's the only one that can sustain and satisfy my needs, my heart and my every breath. it's amazing how i can forget him so easily, then break after weeks of trying to live it on my own.


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Abba Father.. I come before you completely broken, sinful and full of bottled up emotions. My God.... I can't hold them any longer. I can't keep walking without You carrying me. It leaves me at a loss of how to love, how to work, to carry on friendships and relationships, to be faithful, merciful, forgiving and not begrudging or complaining. I sit in my sea of complaints, so UNGRATEFUL and undeserving. I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry for not choosing You. I'm sorry for forgetting You as my First Love and breaking Your heart again. I'm sorry for trying to do it all without You.... it just can't be done. Not well.. and not without a lot of unnecessary pain and grief. I'm hurting you, I'm hurting myself, I'm hurting my relationship. I need You more than ever... You are so good and so faithful.. I need a new start with You.
Take me as I am..
I am learning to love You.
Your -hopeful- Angelie.